Dream On September 10, 2002

Berkeley, California


Returned home to find "Bernie" leading a disparate group of zealots furiously redecorating my apartment. Among other things they had completely carpeted the bathroom including the toilet seat and kleenex holder in a deep red shag. I demanded to know what they thought they were doing and how did they get in. "Bernie", played by the Delta-Force guy from Blackhawk Down, said he had used his combat knife to break in the front door. He then handed me a bill and said if I didn't pay immediately, they would keep on redecorating.

So I went to my bedroom closet and got out my shotgun, filled my pockets with shells and loaded the magazine. Racking a round into the chamber, I chased them out, and continued to chase them down the street and all the way to New York City. I lost them in Grand Central Station which was very crowded with commuters and families. There were also squads of NYPD everywhere and I was barely able to conceal the shotgun and so slid away down the tracks and kept going until I was standing on the levee overlooking New Orlean's Thirteenth Ward.

New Orleans looked like El Salvador; thin wisps of smoke rose from dwellings where raw cinderblock and rusting corrugated metal showed through luxuriant tropical foliage, and refugees angled across the levee. Emptying the shotgun, I too started down the slope.